The Official Blog of FRIED MAN aka Jess Friedman

New Fried Man Album: Selected Songs For Vernon The Dubstepper

Buy / download the new Fried Man Album: “Selected Songs For Vernon The Dubstepper.”

CLICK HERE to buy on

CLICK HERE to buy on iTunes

A re-release of Fried Man’s albums, “Selected Songs To Get Fried To At 70/140 Bpm,” & “Vernon The Dubstepper.” as well as the new Trolls VIP Mix.



free fried man samples for remixing
June 27, 2012, 9:16 PM
Filed under: Fans (aka) Fries, Music, Uncategorized

FREE DOWNLOAD, Fried Man – Selected Samples at 140 BPM

Thanks one of my fries (fans), I created an album of samples from the original fried man release “Selected Songs To Get Fried To at 70/140 Bpm.”

The album contains all the separated sound samples I used to make the songs:

1. Herbacide
2. 12 Bars
3. Simple (Feat. DJ Mendoja)
4. Trolls (including VIP samples)
5. The Metal
6. Canadia

The files are all 320kbps mp3’s. Download the album for free, hosted by Mediafire. I had to split it into 2 downloads, each zipfile contains samples for 3 songs each.Image

I also included for free the full original songs for reference. Lucky you guys!


file 1 of 2:

file 2of 2:

Official Hula Battle Rules v.2.2 is up!
May 19, 2012, 2:14 AM
Filed under: Events, Fans (aka) Fries, Hula Battle, Info, NORCOB, Pictures, SFV, The ROB, Uncategorized



Official Hula Battle Rules aka The Official Hula Battle Rulebook

Written and Developed by The Hulaguns 2010-2012.

Hula Battle is a full contact sport created by Fried Man & Vernon the Gardener in Ocean Beach, San Francisco, CA in 2010.


One day while having a hula hoop session with friends in front of Vernon’s house, Fried Man was showing off how good of a hula hooper he was by running up to other hoopers and knocking their hoops down with his hands, then running away and shouting, “Ha ha! I made your hoop touch the ground! Mine is still going! 3 points! Oh Yehhh!” Fried Man & Vernon, along with fellow Hulaguns & hula hoopers started playing Hula Battle regularly and developed the game and rules to what they are today.


– 3 People (2 players and 1 referee).

– 2 Hula Hoops (1 per player).

– 1 thing to keep score with (referee’s job).


1) Hula hoop! Don’t let it stop and touch the ground.

2) Score points by making your opponents hula hoop stop and touch the ground.

3) Get 21 points to win The Battle (Hula Battle match).

4) Win 2 out of 3 Battles to win The War (defeat your opponent and win).


1) Use your hula hoop as a weapon towards your opponent.

2) Use your hands or body to hit and knockdown your opponents hoop.

3) You can hit and assault your opponent like MMA.

4) No biting, spitting, eye gouging or other illegal cheap moves outlawed in Unified MMA rules.


Scoring points in Hula Battle is a start / stop process similar to other sports like tennis or ping pong.

3 POINTER – Score 3 points every time you make your opponents hula hoop stop and touch the ground while you keep your hula hoop spinning the whole time, (controlled continuous motion of the hula hoop.)

*1POINTER – Score 1 point every time your opponents hula hoop touches the ground and stops while you keep yours up. 


1)You may grab your hoop, stop the continuous motion and “save it” from touching the ground.

2)The catch is one can only stop their hoop from spinning once “INITIAL CONTACT” has been made while in play.


CONTACT – Contact in Hula Battle is simply having player 1’s hula hoop or body touch player 2’s hula hoop or body.

1) “Initial contact” is when contact is made for the first time when a new play starts. “Contact” must be made before a player can stop the motion of their own hoop and save it from touching the ground.

2) Every time at least one player stops the motion of their hoop, then being “in play” resets and players have to make “initial contact” again in order to save their hoop from touching the ground or stopping their own hoop from spinning.

3) If no “initial contact” has been made while in play, and somebody stops their hoop from spinning, then it is a FOUL and 3 points are awarded to the opponent. (INITIAL CONTACT FOUL)


1) You are allowed to have your hula hoop touch and skim the ground, as long as there is continuous motion of the hula hoop, (basically you keep your hula hoop going). 

2) It is up to the Ref to determine if continuous motion was maintained or not.


1) One can only score points when both players are hula hooping at the same time. This is called being “In Play.”

2) When someone scores points or the action is stopped temporarily, the players are “out of play” or “not in play.”

3) “Plays” are the moments of action in hula battle when players can score points. (For example, I could say “I scored 3 points on that last play.”). 

4) No points are awarded on a Draw*

*DRAW = (If you go at it with your opponent and you both end up dropping your hula hoops on the ground at the same time, then nobody scores points.)

5) In order to score a 3 pointer, you must have control of your spinning hula hoop for at least two seconds, much like having control of a football in order to rule a play as a fumble or incomplete pass or something else. It is up to the Ref to determine whether a player has control of their hula hoop or not. If you don’t have control of your hoop after 10 seconds, then the ref will automatically rule a 1 point score instead of 3, and a new play will be begin.



When a player wins 2 out of 3 battles, both players have to do an ending prayer to determine a winner of the war. The ending ceremony is described below:

1) Both players start standing and hula hoop around their waist.

2) Both players then proceed to get on their knees, put their hands together in a prayer position, bow their head towards each other, and then stand up again and hula hoop briefly.

3) This is all while keeping the hula hoop spinning continuously.

4) If the hula hooper that won 2 out of the 3 battles fouls in any way during the ending prayer, then the losing player automatically wins the whole war.

-You are not allowed to make any contact with your opponent in any ways during the ending prayer.

-You can yell and try to verbally, visually distract your opponent, make the hoop fall down any way possible without making contact.


Sudden Death Mode is a method to determine a winner in a single play. It is sometimes needed if a match is going on for over an hour or due to weather that makes Hula Battle unsafe to play.

1) During Sudden Death Mode, points are scored normally except you can only use your hula hoop to engage your opponent.

2) You can’t hit, grab, throw, kick or generally reach out and touch your opponents hoop with your hands, feet, arms, legs, and limbs.

3) You are allowed to block a hoop with any part of your body, but you can’t use a blocking method with your body to knock down your opponents hoop. It is the same principle as throwing a shot put. One may use a  pushing motion to launch a shot-put, but not use a throwing method to launch the ball.

4) Who ever wins the play either wins the battle or war. Both players and the ref must agree upon playing Sudden Death Mode. Sudden Death Mode can be used to end a battle or a war. 

5) One must still do the ending prayer during Sudden Death Mode in order to determine a winner.


1) If a player commits any foul, then your opponent is awarded 3 points. There is no such thing as a 1 point foul. Fouls are bad enough, that shit costs you 3 points homie!

2) Only points for 1 foul per play are awarded. If your opponent commits more than 1 foul during a play, it is still only worth 3 points to the non foul player.

3) If both players foul during a play, then both players are awarded points.

4) While a player can question whether a move is legal, it is up to the ref to determine if an actual foul occurred.

5) Instant replays are allowed if one is recording hula battle. Only a Ref can make the decision to review a play with instant replay.


Only the Ref determines if a foul occurred.

1) Illegal Move Foul- When a player uses one of the cheap moves like eye gouging, spitting, etc . . .

2) Delay of Game Foul – When a player does not start play after 7 seconds, or any other time they stall excessively.

3) Initial Contact Foul – When a player stops the motion of their hoop before making initial contact.

4) Sudden Death Foul – When a player touches their opponents hoop with any part of their limbs during Sudden Death Mode.



-You can play Hula Battle anywhere, as long as both players agree upon the location.

-Since Hula Battle can be played anywhere, your whole environment is considered part of the Hula Battle field of play.

-Hula Battle can be played in any weather that the NFL can legally play in.


-You can wear any apparel you want . . . to a limit. 

-Up to four layers of apparel can be worn on the legs and torso, hands and feet. (Like 3 layers of long underwear and jeans is legal or wearing 4 jackets.).

-Hats, gloves, scarves are all legal.

-One may wear protective gear like hockey pads and mouth guards. 

-If your hoop breaks during a war, then you lose the whole battle. It is your responsibility to have a hoop that holds up during hula battle. You can use a different hoop during the next battle.

-While you can wear objects like sunglasses or headphones, you are not allowed to use anything during hula battle other than your hoop and body to score points. If the objects are not apparel or protective equipment, one has to remove such objects upon an opponents request. 


-You can use any hula hoop you want.

-You are allowed to switch your hoop between battles.

-You can use any tape on your hula hoop, and as much as you want, or none if that is your style.

-Your hula hoop must be smooth and not have any sharp edges.

-There is no weight or size limit on your hula hoop.


-Hula Battle matches & wars have no time limit when deciding a winner.

-You can only wait up to 7 seconds between plays.

-Each player is allowed a single 5 minute time out during the whole war.

-There is a 5 minute time limit between hula battles.

-Only bad weather can interrupt and end a hula war early. Players must enter Sudden Death Mode to determine a winner when bad weather occurs.


1) R&D Rules aka Research and Development Rules are newly proposed rules that anyone can suggest and try out. Since Hula Battle is a new sport that is changing and evolving all the time, Hula Battlers are encouraged to share any new ideas and rules.

2) At the beginning of every Hula Battle, players can agree upon special / customized rules.  As long as the ref is on the same page. 




1) Tag Team is a form of Hula Battle played with 4 players. 2 Players per team. 2 players vs 2 players.

2) 2 Players face off and battle with normal Hula Battle rules while the teammates sit on the sidelines out of play.

3) Everytime someone scores points, the losing team switches players quickly.

4) Players must quickly touch hands and “tag” each other in order to tag in and out.

5) Only the losing players of a play can tag and switch, only after points are scored. If a person keeps scoring points, they must remain in the game until an opponent scores points during a play.

6) Players can’t tag and switch if no points are scored on a play, this includes draws. Players must switch during fouls.

7) All 4 players have to do the ending prayer to make the game official. If a single player fouls during the ending prayer, then the team the player is on loses the war.

Fried Man – The Surf (HD / HQ Youtube Version)

Fried Man – The Surf (HD / HQ Youtube Version)

Hula Battle . . A way to measure up
May 16, 2012, 10:26 PM
Filed under: Events, Fans (aka) Fries, Hula Battle, Info, Pictures, SFV, The ROB, Uncategorized

Bone Mero vs Couching Spazzz


pic by me

Free Fried Man’s Willy . . .Hat

My dear friend Dread Baker modified an old “Free Willy” hat to say Fried Man.

Video and Photo

Free Fried Man’s Willy Hat by Dread Baker. Photo by Elias.


by my other partner in crime Elias

Fried Man – Live @ Bass Cellar SF (Zombie Apocalypse) 05.08.12
May 11, 2012, 2:38 AM
Filed under: Events, Fans (aka) Fries, Info, Music, Pictures, Uncategorized

Recorded live @ The Cellar SF (Bass Cellar) 05.08.2012. The theme for the night was Zombie Apocalypse. I dressed as a Zombie Hunter/Killer.

Performed live with Ableton & Fried Man’s infamous “fried” novation remote sl midi controller. Setlist below:

1. Fried Man – H&K (Horse)
2. Milanese – Barry Dub
3. Fried Man – Sober House
4. Fried Man – Trolls
5. Taso & Skulltrane – Murderah
6. Digital Mystikz – Haunted
7. Fried Man – The Loop
8. Fried Man – The Metal
9. Fried Man vs White Zombie – Blood Milk & The Hawk In The Sky
10. Muk – No Hats No Trainers
11. Genetix – Attic
12. Amit – Roots
13. Dom & Roland – Thunder (Original Mix)
14. Fried Man – Slow (Acapella)
15. Amit – Gatecrasher
16. Amit – Village Folk
17. Black Sun Empire – The Silent
18. G13 -Together (Feat Alice Stopkowski)

Samples from:
1. Night Of The Living Dead
2. 28 Days Later
3. Shaun Of The Dead
4. Resident Evil (Playstation 1 game)
5. Bob’s Burgers
6. The Walking Dead

Also used were acapellas by Rage Against The Machine & Nirvana

The photos below were taken by the most awesome Mark Sandstorm. All of his photos are archived online and available as prints for purchase as well. Check out the rest of the pics from this event and many more at

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by
The wonderful Laura E. Greene is in the back left corner of the shot. She is the special girl that put the night together and got me the gig! Thanks Laura!!!

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by

Fried Man the Zombie Killer. Performing live @ Bass Cellar, SF on 05.08.12. Zombie Apocalyped themed night. Photo by
Since the theme was zombie apocalypse, My costume was a zombie killer / hunter. The bloody t-shirt is from fighting off zombies (tapatio & mcdonalds bbq sauce). I wore the “FRIEDMAN” Military apparel that my father, a US Veteran, Dr. Friedman gave me.
I also wore vinyl gloves (like latex), eye protection (sunglasses) and a medical mask on my face to “protect me from being exposed to zombie germs like their blood and getting infected and ultimately turning into a zombie.”
The white headband is gauze wrap. It’s supposed to look like I received some injuries while battling zombies.
Nobody dressed up as much as I did that night. I hope people will next time when I play a themed event that encourages people to dress in costume. It is just more fun sheoples!


The Lovely Laura E. Greene (wearing my free “green” sunglasses I gave to her, cuz she looked hot in em and I looked pretty gay. Thanks for making the night happen!!!